A photographer's guide to wedding day etiquette

What does French wedding photographer Alison Bounce wish she'd known when she started her 13-year career capturing couples' big days? "What happens during the wedding day!" she says. "The only memory I had about weddings was as a guest when I was a child." And that memory was largely of being bored.

Hundreds of weddings later, Alison is now a seasoned authority on matrimonial celebrations: she's shot intimate and big weddings, formal and informal weddings, religious and civil weddings, and everything in between. And it turns out there was no correct answer for what to expect, after all. "We never know what's going to happen during the wedding day," she says – and as a documentary wedding photographer, that's exactly what she loves about them. "I like adrenaline and just letting life do what it has to do."

"My process is simple," explains Alison. "We have a drink many times, and we discuss. I need to know my couple, so we meet a lot before the wedding. We discuss everything: how they met, how they connected, what they like, what they don't like, and who is most important to them."

"I tell them specific things about my work, so they can trust in me to do my job," explains Alison. "I share with my couple how I will photograph the wedding, that it's about candid moments: that I'm there, but I'm not there."

But Alison also helps them be prepared. "I always share my experience with the bride and groom. Often it's their first wedding. They don't know how to go about it, or what can or should be done. So I give them my best advice for the day, such as to plan little moments with their loved one throughout the day."

"In my opinion, the most important thing is to photograph the couple – to stay as close as possible to their story and their personality," says Alison. "This requires a great deal of preparation, such as knowing the schedule for the day, and having all the addresses and times of the places to be photographed."

"A wedding is a festive event," reminds Alison. "It's important to be well dressed. However, as I'm there to work, I need to be comfortable in my clothes so that I can move around as I wish. I go from standing to sitting all the time, so I opt for soft trousers or a long flowing dress. If there's a dress code, I try to respect it. The bride and groom like that."

Weddings are special, but they can also be stressful. "I always tell them that they can ask me to do anything to help: if they need help getting a guest to the ceremony, I can bring the guest with me in my car, or anything." A photographer who is polite and kind can significantly contribute to the seamless flow of a client's wedding day, and this can have a remarkable impact on their referral rate.

Alison's 'fly-on-the-wall' way of working relies upon blending into the background with her Canon EOS R5 on silent mode – and from an etiquette perspective, this is important, as the focus should not be on the photographer. "I'm trying to be discreet, but it's not easy with two cameras and when you're running all the time because you don't want to miss anything," admits Alison. "So you have to anticipate, and imagine what could happen during a scene: when you move, try not to make eye contact, or your subjects will act differently. So when you move, look down, and be quick."

"If there are delays, it's normal; it's a wedding," says Alison. It's common for guests to be bustling for shots, or for things to stray from plans. Always be polite, and stay flexible. And at the end of the day, let the client be right. "Let them do what they want in their own image," she advises.

"The common mistake I see, and I did when I started, was to be too friendly with a couple and guests. You lose your focus on your mission: to photograph the wedding. On my second or third wedding, I was talking with a guest about the dress of the bride. The father was just by my side and became emotional, and they hugged. I was talking with a guest and I missed this moment. I was so frustrated that I decided to stop being too sociable. My goal is to get the best photo for them, and tell their story."

"After the wedding, I keep in contact with my couple," says Alison. "I like to send them messages, asking how they feel, how their honeymoon was, and maybe one year later to celebrate their one-year anniversary. I'm in contact with all of my couples – and I've done almost 300 weddings now." It's good etiquette, but it's also good business. "I get a lot more business from my couples: when they have children, or anniversaries."

Although there are no set rules of what to expect from a wedding, it's clear that there is one best way to approach them: with respect for the role you're playing, and with a smile! "I love photography and I love what I do because it's a privilege for me to be the most intimate witness of my couples' lives," says Alison. "It's amazing to know how people can trust you on this day. You are the closest person with them, you can see everything during the day. It's a big look at love and it makes me very happy."

For more inspiration and advice from photographers, check out the Canon Europe Learning Series playlist on YouTube and read all about Alison Bounce's wedding kitbag essentials.